Whether you realise it or not, you are influencing people every day. In meetings. In corridor conversations. Through your body language. Through your silence. Through your follow-up, or lack of it.
Recent headlines underline the point.
The now infamous case of the US tech CEO resigning after a “kiss-cam” incident at a Coldplay concert went viral, turning a seemingly private moment into a very public integrity test for the organisation. In Australia, National Australia Bank’s chief executive publicly addressed investor concerns about his management style and social drinking, a reminder that leadership scrutiny is now continuous and compound. Even wardrobe choices can send signals that outpace your words. Commentary on Elon Musk’s attire during White House visits argued that what he wore telegraphed defiance and foreshadowed political fallout.
Leaders are always on show.
Your influence is defined not just by what you do and say, but also by what you sidestep and avoid. Small cues carry significant weight.
The question is not whether you influence. The question is how. Is your influence accidental? Or is it intentional, conscious, and aligned with who you want to be?
Too often, leaders operate on autopilot. They rely on habits, avoid discomfort, or defer to roles and rules instead of engaging in meaningful interactions. But in a disrupted world, this passive approach to influence is risky.
Why small things are not small at all
Humans form rapid judgements from remarkably thin slices of behaviour. Dozens of studies show that brief exposures to non-verbal cues can shape assessments of competence, warmth and intent.
Professors Nalini Ambady and Robert Rosenthal’s classic meta-analysis demonstrated how seconds of expressive behaviour predict interpersonal outcomes1.
While Professor Alexander Todorov and colleagues even found that snap judgements of candidates’ facial competence predicted election results2.
The science is uncomfortable, but clear: people are reading you quickly, and often accurately enough to influence decisions.
Small signals matter because people are constantly searching for meaning. When you arrive late, avoid a topic, glance at your phone, or fail to follow up, others do not experience these as isolated events. They become data points in a story about your priorities and trustworthiness.
Over time, it shapes how your team members and colleagues view your behavioural integrity. That is, the perceived alignment between your words and deeds.
When you have low behavioural integrity, it corrodes trust and discretionary effort. In contrast, when you have high behavioural integrity, you have a greater impact and ability to influence.
Your energy is contagious
Your inner state does not stay inside. It leaks.
Professor Sigal Barsade’s research on emotional contagion shows that moods ripple through teams, shaping cooperation and performance3. This means that how you show up each day will affect how those around you show up and interact with each other.
The implication is practical. Energy management is not self-care theatre. It is an influential discipline. When you arrive grounded, present and purposeful, you help regulate the team and group. When you rush in distracted, you transmit anxiety and narrow attention.
Over time, these micro-transmissions shape your team’s and organisation’s culture.
What you wear should not matter, yet it does
Clothing is a visible cue that others use to infer intent, respect for the moment and professional credibility. It also shapes how you think and feel.
Research on “enclothed cognition” shows that the meaning we attach to what we wear, combined with the act of wearing it, can influence attention, confidence and problem-solving. In other words, attire signals something to others and quietly primes you, too.
Researcher Hajo Adam and Professor Adam Galinsky coined the term “enclothed cognition” to show how the meaning we assign to clothes, combined with the physical experience of wearing them, alters psychological processes4.
This commentary is not an argument for conformity or for sidelining inclusion. It is an argument for intentionality.
Dress codes are cultural codes. When leaders treat clothing as beneath consideration, they still send a message, and people will interpret it.
The guiding principle is fit for context. Choose what supports the work, the moment and the people in front of you. Aim for considered and context-appropriate rather than fashionable for its own sake.
Silence speaks as loudly as speech
Influence is also defined by what you choose not to do.
People often withhold concerns because they infer it is not safe or worthwhile to speak up. Your behaviour is a primary teacher of those inferences. If you routinely avoid complex topics, do not invite dissent, or fail to act after feedback, you are signalling that silence is smarter than candour.
Professor Amy Edmondson’s work on psychological safety reinforces the point. Teams learn and improve when people feel safe taking interpersonal risks.
You build that belief through your everyday actions: how you react to bad news and handle mistakes, and whether you publicly reward thoughtful challenge. Consistency builds credibility, while avoidance, broken promises and visible self-interest erode it.
Put simply, your team members do not need a speech about your values. They need tangible demonstrations through repeated and consistent behavioural actions.
When the world is watching
Today’s leader operates under ambient surveillance. Smartphones, social platforms and secondary commentary can turn private moments into public narratives at speed.
Your stakeholders and team members now co-author your professional reputation in real time. You cannot control the conversation, but you can control what you contribute to it.
This does not mean performing leadership as a continuous stage act. It means living the role with consistent intent.
Hiding is not neutral, and neither is drift.
Leaders who embrace intentional influence invest in three disciplines:
- Awareness: Know your default signals under stress and the stories people are likely to tell about them. Track patterns to identify triggers and blind spots.
- Alignment: Make your message, behaviour and systems mutually reinforcing. Adapt meetings, metrics and symbols until they tell one coherent story.
- Acceleration: Scale what works by turning personal habits into shared practices. Codify norms, teach them and hardwire them into your leadership behaviours and routines.
A practical playbook for intentional influence
So, where do you start?
Intentional influence begins with intentional focus and establishing intentional habits. It helps to start small and build from there.
Run a daily “signals audit”
Before your first meeting, ask: What do I need to project today, and what would that look like in behaviour?
Decide in advance on your top two cues. For example, “present and curious” might translate to keeping phones away, asking open questions first, and summarising last.
End the day by scanning for mismatches between intention and action. Over time, you will see patterns that need redesign.
Open on climate, not content
The first ninety seconds of a meeting shape attention and tone. Use them to set norms.
For example: “We are here to decide X. I want divergent views before we converge. If you disagree, say so and say why.”
This approach invites voice and primes psychological safety.
Close the loop relentlessly
Follow-up is a credibility signal, not an administrative courtesy. If you have requested analysis or promised feedback, take the time to provide it.
You demonstrate to your team what matters by your response times and tracking key metrics.
Manage your energy like an asset
Protect sleep, movement and thinking time so you can show up steady. Ring-fence deep work and recovery in your calendar, just as you would for a client or Board meeting. If you do not protect it, something else will consume it.
If the next meeting requires deep strategic thinking, create a brief reset. Step away from your screen, breathe, and clarify your purpose, desired outcomes, and time horizon. Note the two messages you must land and the tone you need to transmit. Remove distractions and arrive on purpose, not on autopilot.
Make this visible. Explain to your team why you block focus time or take a brief reset before a high-stakes discussion and invite them to do the same.
When energy management becomes a shared practice rather than a private ritual, performance and consistency improve.
Script visible responses to bad news
Moments of truth are remembered and retold.
You can establish a default sequence of habits when issues arise. For example, thank the messenger, ask clarifying questions, isolate learning from blame, and identify next steps.
You are training your team and organisation to identify, surface and address risks early, which ultimately improves outcomes.
Make hard topics discussable
Put recurring ‘undiscussables’ on the agenda by name. For example, “The customer handover that keeps failing,” or “The decision rights that are unclear.”
Invite alternatives and dissent. When you avoid a tricky topic, you still send a message. It is rarely the one you want. Understanding the nuances of these interactions is key to shifting from accidental to intentional influence.
Align words, symbols and systems
People translate what you celebrate, prioritise and resource.
If you talk about safety or inclusion, but your metrics and promotions reward speed and sameness, your approach will speak louder than your speeches.
Regularly check for misalignment and fix it when you find it.
Be intentional with appearance.
You can choose attire that matches the moment and culture you are shaping. When in doubt, default to a considered and context-appropriate approach.
The research is clear that clothing affects both others’ perceptions and your own cognitive stance. Use that lever thoughtfully.
Name and narrate your standards
Trust grows when people know what to expect.
Be explicit about responsiveness norms, meeting hygiene, decision rights and escalation paths. Ideally, develop these shared norms collectively. Then follow them yourself.
This converts personal preference into shared practice.
Create feedback loops on your signals
Ask a small circle to observe you for a fortnight against two cues you are working on, for example, “invites dissent” and “closes loops.”
You can provide a simple scale for them to use and invite them to share feedback. And then, don’t debate the feedback they offer you. Rotate who provides the feedback so you are hearing different perspectives.
A checklist for pivotal moments
The practices above help to set your baseline. It can also help to have a quick checklist you can use for pivotal moments.
So, when the stakes are high, pause and run this checklist before you start a conversation or meeting.
- What might people infer from your non-verbal cues in the first minute? Lean in, be interested, make eye contact and remove visible distractions. Thin slices of behaviour shape judgements.
- What energy do you need to transmit? Calm, urgency, curiosity or something else?. Regulate before you relate. Emotional contagion is real.
- What will your silence say? If you avoid this topic, what story will people tell, and is that the story you want? Your impact depends on your response history.
- Where must words and deeds be visibly aligned? Identify one behaviour that proves the message today. Do it first.
- What signals will remain after you leave the room? Meeting notes, ownership, timelines and other actions. Remember, consistent follow-through is culture in motion.
Your leadership test never ends.
It is tempting to dismiss clothing, punctuality, or a slightly curt email as trivial. It is equally tempting to believe that clever strategy outweighs inconsistent behaviour. But people experience leadership in the small moments. Those moments accumulate. Over time, they either amplify or drain your influence.
In complex environments, your edge comes from clarity and consistency. Show up with purpose.
Treat every interaction as culture on display. Be known for closing loops, inviting dissent, keeping promises and setting standards you personally follow. Your people are watching, and the world might be as well.
Getting you ready for tomorrow, today®
Award-winning author and global workplace expert, Dr Michelle Gibbings, helps leaders, teams and organisations unlock strategic influence to accelerate progress.
References
- Ambady, N., & Rosenthal, R. (1992). Thin slices of expressive behaviour as predictors of interpersonal consequences: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 111(2), 256–274. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.111.2.256
- Todorov, A., Mandisodza, A. N., Goren, A., & Hall, C. C. (2005). Inferences of competence from faces predict election outcomes. Science, 308(5728), 1623–1626. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1110589
- Barsade, S. G. (2002). The ripple effect: Emotional contagion and its influence on group behaviour. Administrative Science Quarterly, 47(4), 644–675. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.2307/3094912
- Adam, H., & Galinsky, A. D. (2012). Enclothed cognition. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(4), 918–925. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2012.02.008